There was a moment in my life where I thought I knew all there is to Life and Love. I thought I had it all figured out, if I had gone through proper schooling and excelled there, what could be different with Life (in this regard, I had work and/or career in mind) and Love, you just gotta play smart right…?
So I set out to impress the boss ( like a teacher in school no?) with my many work skills and the speed with which I could accomplish tasks assigned, because hey, somewhere along the way, they’ll discover how amazingly talented I am and I will win that big promotion, a raise…or at least a pat in the back, or some form of recognition and theen, well you know, the boss will entrust you with his/her important assignments, those dinner outings with the esteemed clients, everything down that road, colored fancy with a feeling of belonging and worthiness!
As for Love, even when I cannot seem to forget the guy I dated all through campus, I’ll just move on to a more appropriate figure, I’m working already anyways, so a fine corporate guy to my liking should fit. He dresses well, takes me to fine drink and dines, there is definitely that side glance from my girlfriends trying to check him out, assuring me what a lucky girl I was…aah the world agrees!
The order of this becomes a vicious circle in everyday life, somewhere along the way, the pat in the back simply does not cut the overwhelming work placed on the table, the praises no longer bring satisfaction, could I have sent out a wrong message that I enjoyed biting more than I could chew? or maybe the way to go and be at peace is rather, playing dumb…?
Speaking of which, how could this fine corporate fella possibly think I bought the story about his work trip on the weekend of Valentines Day? or is this again where a lady plays dumb, lets it slide to keep face…
Have you ever felt like there has got to be more to life than what is, more to just waking up to please some honcho by doing something you barely enjoy, or maybe you do, and that exact reason has become a song of excuse, to remain motionless, and so blind to chains tying you down, only mindful and loud of a return way less than the sweat you invested, yet still somehow know their thirst is never quenched and you are pretty much expendable, sigh* what good is fallible security?. Ever felt like there is more to life than just the same routine of trying to fit in with that “appropriateness”, that appropriate someone, appropriate place of hangout, appropriate drive, appropriate dress, appropriate brand of phone one owns, appropriate style of speech, appropriate company, appropriate hair and make up, appropriate friends, appropriate choice of drink, appropriate church, appropriate time to marry.. it’s almost like chasing a temporary high, that just won’t satisfy! Well, in all brands of honesty, it possibly might not be as stifling to some…I’m smiling, breath!
There was a moment in my life when I realized I knew very little about Life and Love . You know these subtle hints God just patiently drops on you when you’ve hit a concrete wall, little like, ‘child, you are great, just not at what you think you want’ while you shout up to him, ‘common man, if you say you love me, you should just let this which I’m planning/working on very hard, function in the way I want it to!’. In that moment, it is like somehow God is out to get you or something, I mean first of, he has all these “don’t dos ” that make life not as fun and then would potentially disturb that “appropriateness” that has all the while become so familiar, and is O so comfortable.
Shouldn’t all that I acquired in knowledge and skill in a not so easy setting be my full time commitment and the talent (he calls it gift) be some kind of hobby, extra curricular, something part time?
And all the while God, lovingly concerned, looks down wondering, what in the world are you doing in a place I equipped you with nothing to excel with!
“A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men”- Proverbs 18:16.
As for Love, oh darling, how we run around referencing this from humans! We look at that perfect couple that seems to have it all together and is perfectly happy (in our eyes), we look for what love looks like from a father, that pastor and his wife, we look into people for a sampling of love. See, problem is, as long as who we reference from is flesh, we are setting ourselves up for some properly manufactured, well packaged heartbreak!! Reality check: Humans fail, humans mess up, humans are not perfect because they are human!
GOD is Love, he operates and functions in Love, warns and counsels in Love. You know what else he is in abundance?, Grace, Mercy, Patience and compassion. He remains unaltered and unchanged through any and every situation. This right here is the image of Christ. He remains all these when we are the the best of ourselves or the worst we could possibly be.
“For whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son” – Romans 8: 29.
Translation; His goal, in everything he does for us, in care and protection is to conform us to the image of Christ! This God you worship so loudly, the one you post countless messages about, and call unto others to follow whilst you diligently attend every service and after service in his house, this God has a goal to conform you into the image of Christ.
Now tell me again how you will ever learn to love like Christ, when all you have ever had is a perfectly lovable all time exciting, individual all around you? How will you ever learn Patience, mercy and Grace when you expect that whom you should be with to be perfect, accomplished, without fault or blemish. Sometimes I think God places in our lives people who are weak in areas we want most for them to be strong just so we could develop that Christlike image and strength, oh but how quickly we dismiss them at the first sight of discomfort and imperfection, with volumes of reasons, titled incompatible!
Many a times we even support a decision from a consultation of an “appropriate” person…
If your decision on whatever situation, no matter how confusing it may be, results in pain on another, shows no mercy, is not gentle and patient, is not from a place of Love, please be informed, that is not God’s response to your prayer. You very likely heard an echo of your selfish wishes and desires, you simply wanted an easy door out.
If a friend, a counselor, a pastor or whomsoever you seek advice from does not offer advice from a perspective of Love, mercy, gentleness, patience and calmness, that is not a voice of God through them! Oh but darling, do you not see that at times, their response is a mare reflection of what you want to hear?
Its funny how we ask God, what he would do about a situation, in Life and Love, yet before he lifts a finger to point direction, we are at the gates of man following what man does!
“Though I speak with tongues of men, and of angels but have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophesy, and understanding all mysteries, and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing” – 1 Corinthians 13:1-2.
This here is a moment in my life where I finally realize I am yet to learn so much more about Life and Love. This here is an understanding though, that the strive is to act and love like God yet who is next to me is only human as I am, imperfect as I am. This here is an understanding that the past and all its content lies exactly where it is. This here is knowing, that the “don’t dos”, were never in harms way, or a thief of joy, yet a protection, a blanket of security, only his Love in action. This here is an understanding that a worth God placed in me is in the magnitude of a Love exemplified in the Grace he continuously grants, Mercy even when I have broken his heart countless times, Patience when I deserve non of it.
As for love, I am to die for!